When Will It End???

Before I had Katelyn and Olivia people would ask me if I was planning to breastfeed them. My response was always indifferent, because I honestly had no idea what to expect with twins. I did not want to be one of those mothers who had both tits hanging out from under her shirt with a toddler sucking away on each one. (Sorry for the graphic description... I saw a picture like that in a LaLeche League Book for mothers of multiples... it scared me.) So anyway, I would always say something like, "Well, we'll see how it goes." or "I'm going to try." or "I'll nurse them for as long as I can." I truly did not expect to be nursing long, as we supplemented with formula right away and both babies took to the bottle easily. At first.


Somewhere around the 11-week mark Olivia decided she hated the bottle, but loved the boob. I mean LOVE the boob. This kid is a Momma's-girl to the 10th degree. In fact, before I actually sit down to nurse her in the morning she sucks on my neck or my shoulder while I walk around making my tea and getting Joey his sippy cup and Cheerios. It's like she can't wait to get a hold of it. She just loves nursing.

Roundabout September I was in dire need of a new nursing bra. All of the ones that I owned at the time were the ones that I used when I had Joey so they were pretty worn out. While on a trip to JCPenney I contemplated buying one. I did not really want to buy one because I was still hopeful that the kid would be on the bottle sometime in the very near future. But I broke down and bought one anyway. Good thing I did because I wear it almost every day. (Don’t worry, the washing machine is always running in my house so it stays relatively clean.) Well, today I got tired of only having one decent nursing bra so I went out and charged 2 new ones to my JCP credit card. They were only $15 each, so not a huge deal, but still. I can't believe that this kid is 8 months old and I'm out buying new nursing bras because she shows absolutely NO signs of weaning. NONE. Will I be nursing her past my intended cut off point (10 1/2 months)? You betcha. Will I be nursing her on her 1st birthday? Most likely. Will I be nursing her next summer? Oh my goodness I hope not, but probably.

Don't get me wrong. I love nursing my babies. I love that it's the one thing I can do for them that no one else can do. I love the convenience of it in that you don't have to mix formula, heat bottles, or pack anything extra in the diaper bag. I love the quiet calm that takes over a fussy baby when they snuggle up and latch on. I even (sometimes) love sitting in a dark room in the middle of the night with a sleepy baby nursing away. I really do. But after 3 babies in less than 2 years a girl needs a break. I need to feel like I can leave my house for more than a 3-hour window at a time. I need to feel like my body belongs to me and only me. I need to feel that my husband can put our children to bed without my boob help. But that day is probably a long time coming.

So in the meantime I guess I should just enjoy my new lingerie.  Even if it does have plastic hooks for easy access.