Barefoot and Pregnant

I've given new meaning to the expression "barefoot and pregnant." I used to think it meant that you never left your house, took care of babies, did dishes, ate bon-bons, and cooked all day long. Well I haven't left my house but not because I'm taking care of babies, doing dishes, eating bon-bons (more like ben and jerry's), or cooking (isn't that what takeout is for?). I'm housebound and barefoot because I can't get my feet into shoes. Not even flip flops. Or slippers. How does one make the swelling go away, you might ask? Have a baby. (That's the response I've gotten from several people upon whining to them about my current condition.) Be thankful, all you skinny ankled shoe wearers!