Sunday, October 7, 2012

Couch 2 5K... The Mom's Perspective

Well it's no secret that I'd like to lose some weight.  I've struggled with it for some time now, and am finding it harder than EVER now to drop a few pounds.  Weight Watchers worked for me 6 times before in the past, and it sort of worked for a while for me earlier this year, but I got impatient and quit.  Also, we really had to cut back spending when Ron unexpectedly needed a new car, and $45 for WW was just no longer in the budget.  Which is why I haven't gone back.

You see, I can't even blame my fatness on "baby weight."  I was actually at my thinnest adult weight 3 weeks after the girls were born, (nursing twins was the Best Diet Ever!) and I desperately want to lose the 30 pounds I've gained since then.

So, if I want desperately to lose weight, why is it so freakin' hard?  When you want something badly enough, shouldn't it just happen?  I really don't get where the disconnect is here, and it makes me want to really do some investigation as to why I can't stay motivated to lose some freakin' weight.  And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only woman out there feeling this way.  In fact, I know I'm not.  You're with me, aren't you??? 

Well, drastic times call for drastic measures, so I even went as far as to try the crash diet of Cabbage Soup.  In case you missed it, you can read about it here, here, or here.  My 7-day diet lasted 3 days.  I lost about 6 pounds in 3 days, but gained 10 back faster than you can say "Dairy Queen."  No joke, it was like I blinked, and WHAM, 10 pounds... back on the old keister.  The 6 that I lost by starving myself, and 4 extra for being an idiot.

Well, we all know how to lose weight... eat less, exercise more.  Easy enough, right?  I wish.  But I'm determined to find something that will work.  This may or may not be it, but you're about to find me blogging about my newest exercise regime.  It's something I said I would NEVER do.  Never, ever, ever, did I think I'd do this.  It is so far out of my comfort zone, I can't even tell you.  But maybe that's just what I need.  Maybe I need to do something I've never done before, and never thought I could.  Sounds plausible, right?  I may do it once, maybe for a week, I may do it for the rest of my life.  But I'm doing it.  I'm running.  There.  I said it.  I was super reluctant to put this online -so don't judge me and keep your mouth shut about it if I quit, k?  In fact, as I type, I'm not so sure I can actually click on the publish button... Regardless, I've downloaded the C25K running program, and I'm running.  And here's how it went my very first time:

Week 1, Day 1:

As I completed the first 60-second running segment I seriously contemplated going home.  I'm not even kidding.  It was awful, and I could feel my body protesting this decision with every single painful step.  But I didn't turn around.  I kept going.  I wanted to smash the iPod into the pavement every time I heard the little "ding-a-ling" that signaled another 60-second running stint.  And I'll admit that I ended a few of those running segments a few seconds early because I just couldn't do it.  It hurt so bad.  Everywhere.  Immediately.

Oh, and then there is the whole embarrassment factor.  Me running is just not a pretty sight.  I've got big tits and a big ass, and everything bounces. And not in a "wow, that's sexy" kind of way.  My first time out of the gate, I went right around 7:00pm, when it was still light outside.  I had to run in front of some of my friends' houses praying that they weren't looking out the window or walking outside.  I even ran past some people that I knew who were taking their baby out for an evening stroll.  I just shook my head and gave them the "I'm about to die doing this" look when they tried to chat to me.  My heart stopped with every car that drove by thinking that it might be some cruel teenagers throwing tomatoes at the fat lady jiggling running down the street.  At that thought, I made a mental note to go running after dark until I get more comfortable with this.  Then I remembered that I had already told myself about 5 minutes into this endeavor that this was the stupidest idea I've had yet, and I was never going to go running again.  I was not cut out for this.

Then, suddenly, I was looping aroud the neighborhood back to my house.  I glanced at the iPod and realized that I was 2/3 of the way through the 30-minute workout.  With that, I realized I could do it.  I was doing it.  So the last couple of running segments were actually my easiest ones because I was on my way home, not on my way away from home.

Upon walking in the front door, I just about collapsed to the floor.  "You should stretch," said my husband, The Athlete.  I didn't stretch.  I couldn't stretch.  I could barely move.  I poured myself a huge glass of ice water and sat outside on the patio with the fan on high trying to cool off.  Luckily, Fall has arrived in North Carolina so the outdoor temperature is finally lower than the indoor temperature these days!  It took me a good 20 minutes to feel like a human being again, and I did have a happy euphoric feeling that I actually did it.  Once.  I ran one time.  And after that night, I never planned to do it again...

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