Sibling Love?

If you've had the privilege of spending time with my family you'd notice within just a few minutes that 2 out of 3 of my children do not get along very well.  This is not a new phenomenon.  Not a stage that they will eventually grow out of. (although I pray that they will)  Put frankly, for one reason or another, Joey and Katelyn just don't like each other.

Sad?  Right.  Yea, it's a real downer.  I've tried countless ways to figure out why my oldest and youngest don't show the love for each other like they do towards Olivia.  They both really love Olivia.  I guess the main reason I can come up with is that they are more similar in personality.  Joey and Katelyn seem to take after me in the personality department.  Strong willed, opinionated, inquisitive, strong willed, stubborn, strong willed... yea, that about sums it up.  Olivia is more subdued like my husband.  She of course has her own opinion about things, and can throw a tantrum over a pack of gummies with the best of them, but she is definitely more compliant and accepting than the other two. 

Joey and Katelyn battle over just about anything.  Toys, shoes, (yes, Joey will wear her most favorite sparkle shoes around the house just to piss her off), what to watch on TV, who goes first, last, etc.  It's pretty endless.  And beyond frustrating as a mom who just wants peace in the house.  Sometimes they do it deliberately.  For example, Joey will purposefully act like Katelyn mispronounced something even though she didn't.  Katelyn will yell about it.  Joey will insist that she said it wrong.  Katelyn will yell some more.  Joey will yell back.  And eventually one of them will either throw something or smack the other one unless I break it up by using my scary mom voice telling them to CUT THE CRAP!

I noticed something the other day while I dropped Joey off at school.  These two, who act like they can't stand each other 90 percent of the time always say goodbye to each other.  He even turns after getting out of the car to say goodbye to Katelyn with a wave and a smile.  Maybe it's because they are so glad to have 7 hours away from each other.  But I'd rather think that its because deep down they actually do love each other.  So I'm going to go with that.  They totally do, right?

Sibling Rivalry... When Will It End?

I'm sure any mother of more than one child will admit that THE hardest part of raising a family is making the children of the house get along with each other.  Lately I feel like they are all vying for my attention, fighting incessantly, and hurting each other more than ever.
 
"Share!"
"Don't take that from her!"
"You may not lay on your sister!"
"Yes, you can have one too!"
"No, he's not hurting you."
"I said share dammit!"
"Give that back!"
"Don't pull her hair!"
"It'll be your turn in a minute!"
"Share!"
"In a minute!"
"In a godforsaken minute!!!"

That's pretty much what my house sounds like every afternoon.  If I say nothing else all day, I say each and every one of those phrases at least 10 times in any given day.  Getting my children to get along is proving to be more and more difficult as they get older.  The girls are approaching 3 years old, and are not as passive and easily distracted as they once were.  Joey is getting older, wiser, and more manipulative by the minute, and has in turn become the World's Worst Sharer.  Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a war zone, just ducking to avoid a plastic domino to the head.

If I buy 2 of something, I should have bought 3.  If I buy 3 different items, I should have bought 3 of the same.  If we do happen to own a singleton toy of something, it more than likely is owned by Joey, and it more than likely NEVER gets played with because it's hidden somewhere so that "his sisters can't get it."  What good is that???  I've tried to explain to him that it doesn't even make sense, but more often than not his bed will be strewn with a series of favorite toys that no one (not even he) plays with.

So how do I stop the madness?  How do I teach my children to chill the you-know-what out and let each other play with whatever he/she/it pleases?  What works in your house?  The timer method?  The "if she can't play with it, no one can play with it" method?  Maybe I'm just destined to a life of referee-ing children that have lost the ability to share.  Or perhaps it's time I just sit back and let them battle it out, and the last one standing gets all the toys... (sounds kinda sick but fun, doesn't it?)