Sibling Love?

If you've had the privilege of spending time with my family you'd notice within just a few minutes that 2 out of 3 of my children do not get along very well.  This is not a new phenomenon.  Not a stage that they will eventually grow out of. (although I pray that they will)  Put frankly, for one reason or another, Joey and Katelyn just don't like each other.

Sad?  Right.  Yea, it's a real downer.  I've tried countless ways to figure out why my oldest and youngest don't show the love for each other like they do towards Olivia.  They both really love Olivia.  I guess the main reason I can come up with is that they are more similar in personality.  Joey and Katelyn seem to take after me in the personality department.  Strong willed, opinionated, inquisitive, strong willed, stubborn, strong willed... yea, that about sums it up.  Olivia is more subdued like my husband.  She of course has her own opinion about things, and can throw a tantrum over a pack of gummies with the best of them, but she is definitely more compliant and accepting than the other two. 

Joey and Katelyn battle over just about anything.  Toys, shoes, (yes, Joey will wear her most favorite sparkle shoes around the house just to piss her off), what to watch on TV, who goes first, last, etc.  It's pretty endless.  And beyond frustrating as a mom who just wants peace in the house.  Sometimes they do it deliberately.  For example, Joey will purposefully act like Katelyn mispronounced something even though she didn't.  Katelyn will yell about it.  Joey will insist that she said it wrong.  Katelyn will yell some more.  Joey will yell back.  And eventually one of them will either throw something or smack the other one unless I break it up by using my scary mom voice telling them to CUT THE CRAP!

I noticed something the other day while I dropped Joey off at school.  These two, who act like they can't stand each other 90 percent of the time always say goodbye to each other.  He even turns after getting out of the car to say goodbye to Katelyn with a wave and a smile.  Maybe it's because they are so glad to have 7 hours away from each other.  But I'd rather think that its because deep down they actually do love each other.  So I'm going to go with that.  They totally do, right?

Kids Say The Darndest Things

I was lucky enough to spend some quality time with my little guy Joey today.  It's always nice to go out with just one kid.  I feel like I actually get to enjoy some precious moments that are usually too rushed or chaotic to notice.  First we went to a birthday party for one of Joey's classmates.  Then we headed over to Kohl's so I could use my 30% off coupon to stock up on K-Cups.  (FYI: if you catch them on sale with a coupon, it comes out to just over $8.50 a box... in case you're wondering!)  Shopping with just one child is like a dream come true for me. (Second only to shopping alone, obviously!)  But really, it's actually fun to go with one.  I try to involve them in a lot of the decisions, asking their opinions on colors, styles, etc.  Keeping them interested is so much easier than trying to distract them from the fact that we are still in the store.  So that's what I did with Joey at Kohl's tonight.

First we shopped a bit in the ladies department.  I tried on a few pieces, wasn't happy with most, except for a shirt that Joey told me was a "beautiful color," so that one I bought.  Next, we headed on over to the girl's department to grab a new bathing suit for Katelyn.  That kid outgrows everything in about 2 weeks, I swear.

Finally we were ready to go collect our stash of K-cups, so we walked past the boy's department, where I was convinced to buy Joey a new baseball shirt.  If a $5 shirt keeps him happy, fine.  At least it's 30% off.  Trekking on, I walked hurriedly past the candles, picture frames, and intimates.  Joey was walking sort of alongside me, stopping to look at this and that along the way.  Before I could tell him not to, he was grabbing onto a great big flower-print padded bra, at which he ever-so-innocently (and loudly) said, "This is pretty for you, Mom.  You could put your boobs in it."

I told you, I love shopping with my kids.  It's like shopping theater.  I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

Kids Say The Darndest Things

Katelyn has learned how to throw a stellar tantrum these days.  She pulls out all the stops, and gets to me in ways that I just can't ignore.  I try to ignore tantrums whenever possible, but Katelyn has learned that an ear piercing scream will get my attention pretty much every time.  So that's usually her chosen method.  To combat this, I've opted for putting a few drops of lemon juice in her mouth.  I'm a firm believer in "the punishment needs to fit the crime" style of parenting, and I feel that something unpleasant in the mouth that was just used to scream is appropriate enough.

While we were on our 14-hour trek back to North Carolina from Connecticut a few weeks ago Katelyn decided that screaming would be a fun way to pass the time.  Ron told her to stop or he would get the lemon juice. It was actually an empty threat since we don't actually travel with lemon juice.  Although maybe we should... (diapers? check. wipes? check. sippy cups & snacks? check. lemon juice for squirting in Katelyn's mouth? check....)  Empty threat or not, she stopped.

A few minutes go by and Joey half-whispers to his sister, "Katelyn, scream."
"No screaming Katelyn," Ron reinforces.
A minute or so later, Joey tries again, "Katelyn, scream."
"Joey, if she screams I'll put lemon juice in your mouth."
A few minutes pass while Joey thinks this over.  Finally he flatly responds, "No you won't.  I'm allergic."
Which he is.

Hey Jealousy! *Revised*

*Revision: Thanks to my friend Dana for pointing out that "Hey Jealously" is a song sung by Gin Blossoms, not The Goo Goo Dolls.  I had a good laugh when she sent me a corrective text moments ago.  Apparently my recollection of mid-to-late 90s hit songs and/or artists is foggy.  (can't imagine why that would be?)  I've updated accordingly.  Thanks, Dana.

I'm titling this post after that song from the 90's by The Goo Goo Dolls The Gin Blossoms.  Does anyone else remember it?  "Tell me do you think it'd be all right... if I could just crash here tonight...."  -I could go on and on, I probably still know every word (even if I don't know who sang it first), but that's really irrelevant to what I intended to write about, so I'll stop there.  Oh, but in case you're wondering, The Goo Goo Dolls are still around... my friend Marija saw them at an event not long ago! -They didn't sing "Hey Jealousy" though; I asked. (it would have been really weird if they did, seeing as it wasn't their song!) *Note to self: search Goo Goo Dolls (and Gin Blossoms) on iTunes.*

Anywaaaaaays, my kids haven't really been given the opportunity to get jealous of each other just yet.  They all have pretty much the same stuff (or at least the same amount of stuff), they get to do basically the same things, and they are (hopefully) treated by my husband and I the same way.  With the exception of when they are sick.  We all know that being sick when you're a kid has it's perks.  Mom and Dad check on you a lot more than usual.  You get a whole lot of snuggles and head rubbing.  You get to sleep in a different room than your own; like on the couch in front of the TV or Mom & Dad's bed.  You get to eat whatever you feel like, and it's usually something out of the usual food service choices in the house.  You get the idea...

Last week my family was struck with the stomach flu.  YUCK, I know.  Joey had it early-on in the week, and I thought the rest of us had escaped it until Olivia started puking on Friday afternoon.

As soon as Joey realized that Olivia was sick, and my husband and I were tending to her in the same exact way we took care of him just 3 days earlier, he could not handle it.  Within a 2 hour period, Joey had a "hurt in his throat," a "broken leg," and his nose "was starting to feel like it was getting a little runny."

Katelyn was no different.  When she noticed a sick little Olivia propped up on Mommy & Daddy's bed watching Dora The Explorer, she dropped to the floor and said, "Mommy, I sick too," (She then proceeded to throw a temper-tantrum when I told her that she wasn't sick and would not be joining Olivia on the bed.)

It was amazing to me how quickly my kids caught on to the special attention one child might receive for being sick, and instantly felt like they needed to work to get my attention too.  I guess it didn't take long for them to learn to feel jealous.  Too bad they didn't learn how to feel compassionate for their sick sibling just as quickly.

Kid's Say the Darndest Things

Olivia was playing in the playroom and decked herself out in all the fancy princess gear she could find: sparkly shoes, a crown, a princess cloak, etc.  She walked over to show me and said in her own sometimes-difficult-to-understand dialect, "I'm a princess mommy."  Joey took one look at her and said, "what's a butt-chops?"  I couldn't help but laugh.

I'm pretty sure that he was just looking for yet another reason to throw the word 'butt' into normal conversation, but it was very funny nonetheless.  I just hope my kids don't start walking around calling every princess item they see 'butt-chops.'

The Mighty Mastermind

My kids seem to fight a lot with each other these days.  They argue over what to watch on TV, who had what toy first, who is going to sit on the potty first, what kind of snack they want mommy to get them from the pantry, etc. etc. etc.  Sometimes it feels like it's a never ending battle in here.  They also play with each other a lot too though, so I guess that's good.  I think that as much as it kills him to share is stuff, Joey genuinely enjoys having little sisters to play with, boss around, and manipulate.  Yes, I said manipulate.  Joey has become quite a little mastermind in getting his sisters to play under his terms.

In the following pictures Joey is playing with his collection of cars and Olivia is desperate to play too.  Not really wanting to share his treasured vehicles, the conversation went something like this:

Me, from across the room: "Joey, Olivia wants to play too, give her a car to play with."
Joey: "OK.  Olivia do you want a purple car because purple is your favorite color?"
Olivia: "Yes."
Joey: "Sorry, I don't have a purple car.  Go find something else to play with."
Olivia, (whining): "I want car Joey."
Me: "Joey, let her play with a car please."
Joey: "OK, I will.... Olivia, do you want a sparkly car because you love sparkles?"
Olivia: "Yes."
Joey: "Sorry, I don't have any sparkly cars. I guess you can't play with these."

Olivia, being passive as usual just stood there because his explanations were actually making sense to her. If only Joey had a purple sparkly car she could play too.  But he doesn't, so she was left on the sidelines looking longlingly at his massive collection of cars that she couldn't use because they weren't purple or sparkly.

Finally I told Joey that he was to give Olivia any car.  It didn't matter what color or whether it was sparkly or not.  He obliged, and the two played peacefully together for all of 30 seconds until both lost interest and moved on to something else.

This entire encounter was so funny to me because neither of them really got upset or frustrated.  Being the older brother defintely puts Joey at an advantage in this house in so many ways.  He's the first to get to do things on his own, he gets the more exciting toys, and gets to hang out with mommy in the afternoon while the girls have to nap.  Being able to manipulate his way out of sharing his toys was new for me to witness, but I have to say I was impressed by his clever reasoning skills, and in the end I was proud that there was no fighting, crying, or whining, and Olivia got to play too.

New Friends

One of the most difficult things about moving is having to find new people to socialize with.  The past 11 months (yes, it's already been that long) has really made me value all of my friendships, and not a day goes by that I don't miss my friends who are far away.  Going to a new place is exciting and adventurous, but it can also be very lonely when you step outside your house and don't know anyone who lives closer than 600 miles away.  Meeting people doesn't happen easily when you don't go to school or work every day.  You actually have to work at making new friends.  It takes time and effort, and often involves going out of your comfort zone as far as reaching out to people.  It's not like when I was 6 and would meet a fellow kindergartner on the playground and 3 and a half minutes later she was my new bff.  How do you make new friends as a 29 year-old stay at home mom of 3 little monsters?  Thankfully we have things like facebook, meetup.com, and other social media networks that have helped me to form some friendships in my new location.

The best way to make new friends as a mom is obvious: join a mom's group and find some other mommies  that have kids close in age to your own kids.  So I did just that.  And I'm fortunate to finally have a sense of belonging again, and I feel like I'm really making some connections for myself and my kids.  (my husband is a whole other story, but I'm working on setting up some playdates for him too!)

I feel that Joey is at an age where he has the ability to make real friends for himself too.  It is no longer just a bunch of kids playing with a ton of toys and screaming "mine" at each other.  The kids are learning how to talk to one another, make each other laugh, and get along.  It is awesome to see him actually enjoying having friends too.

Last week we invited a bunch of our friends over to play in the back yard.  Joey and a couple of other 3-year old little boys had a fantastic time running around, climbing stuff, and spraying each other with his cool Buzz Lightyear Sprinkler.  My friend Christine told me that her son Christian was especially enthusiastic about the playdate and went on to tell his dad about it later that day.  The conversation went something like this:

Christian: "Hey Dad!"
The Dad: "Hi Christian, how was your day today?"
Christian: "It was great.  I played with a Buzz Lightyear Rocket Ship!"
The Dad: "Oh, really?  Where did you do that?"
Christian: "At my Orange Friend Joey's House."

My Orange Friend!  How adorable is that?  I just love that Joey already has his own classification in Christian's brain.  He is his Orange Friend.  That is just too stinkin' cute.  I hope they'll be friends for a long long time.

The Princess Mommy

A few weeks ago Ron and I had the most amazing date night.  We went to see Jack Johnson in concert, and had several glorious hours to ourselves enjoying some seriously soothing music and delicious alcoholic beverages.

As the kids ate an early dinner, I went to quickly get dressed for our night out.  I tried to dress appropriately for an outdoor concert, and decided to wear a comfortable, long, flowy dress.  I don't often wear a dress unless we are going to a wedding or other fancy event, so my children rarely see mommy dressed up.  As I walked out of the bedroom to collect my things and kiss my babes goodnight, Joey's eyes lit up.

He said in his most adorable 3-year old voice, "Mommy, you look like a princess!"  My heart swelled at that.  I didn't even know how to respond to his sweet adoration.  He continued with, "dance, mommy.  dance like a princess."  I obliged to his request and did my very best spinning twirl, making my dress balloon out around me.  My little boy admired my less-than-coordinated dance moves with a sweet smile and big old hug with his arms wrapped around my legs.  "I love you so much mom."  "I love you so much too, Joey." 

Staying Connected

The hardest thing about moving is the people you leave behind. Joey has bonded with a lot of friends and family members in his 2 years of life, and saying goodbye to those people was (and still is) a huge struggle for me. I don't want him to lose the strong connection to the people who matter most to him.

We were quick to set up our computer with Skype, so that Joey could continue to see his BFF (and cousin) Mollie, and his now far away grandparents, Nana and PopPop. Skyping is something that we've all come to know and love, but Joey still enjoys the plain old telephone.

Since my little boy has ants in his pants 98% of the time, I really think he prefers the phone to Skype due to it's portable nature. When he's on the phone with Nana and PopPop, he is often wandering from room to room describing the things that he finds along the way. I'm pretty sure that his telephone companions have gotten used to hearing "wook, na. wook dis," while Joey tries to 'show' his blocks, book, or random household object.

Furthermore, Joey enjoys finding little crevices of the apartment to climb in while he's on the phone. I think he likes to shut the world out and just focus on the love that Nana and PopPop are sending him through the phone.

Here is Joey sitting amongst the clutter in my bedroom closet:

And here he is laying in the ottoman in the living room:

After I took that picture Joey said, "bye, bye mom. my go ah-ah-man." He then closed the lid, and carried on his conversation in private.

*Please note: these photos were taken on different days. Different weeks, actually. It is purely a coincidence that he is wearing the same outfit. I swear he has other clothes.*